Timon of Athens

Athens. A hall in Timon’s house.

Enter Poet, Painter, Jeweller, Merchant, and others, at several doors.

Poet

Good day, sir.

Painter

I am glad you’re well.

Poet

I have not seen you long: how goes the world?

Painter

It wears, sir, as it grows.

Poet

Ay, that’s well known: But what particular rarity? what strange, Which manifold record not matches? See, Magic of bounty! all these spirits thy power Hath conjured to attend. I know the merchant.

Painter

I know them both; th’ other’s a jeweller.

Merchant

O, ’tis a worthy lord.

Jeweller

Nay, that’s most fix’d.

Merchant

A most incomparable man, breathed, as it were, To an untirable and continuate goodness: He passes.

Jeweller

I have a jewel here⁠—

Merchant

O, pray, let’s see’t: for the Lord Timon, sir?

Jeweller

If he will touch the estimate: but, for that⁠—

Poet

Reciting to himself. “When we for recompense have praised the vile, It stains the glory in that happy verse Which aptly sings the good.”

Merchant

’Tis a good form. Looking at the jewel.

Jeweller

And rich: here is a water, look ye.

Painter

You are rapt, sir, in some work, some dedication To the great lord.

Poet

A thing slipp’d idly from me. Our poesy is as a gum, which oozes From whence ’tis nourish’d: the fire i’ the flint Shows not till it be struck; our gentle flame Provokes itself and like the current flies Each bound it chafes. What have you there?

Painter

A picture, sir. When comes your book forth?

Poet

Upon the heels of my presentment, sir. Let’s see your piece.

Painter

’Tis a good piece.

Jeweller

We’ll bear, with your lordship.

Merchant

He’ll spare none.

Timon

Good morrow to thee, gentle Apemantus!

Apemantus

Till I be gentle, stay thou for thy good morrow; When thou art Timon’s dog, and these knaves honest.

Timon

Why dost thou call them knaves? thou know’st them not.

Apemantus

Are they not Athenians?

Timon

Yes.

Apemantus

Then I repent not.

Jeweller

You know me, Apemantus?

Apemantus

Thou know’st I do: I call’d thee by thy name.

Timon

Thou art proud, Apemantus.

Apemantus

Of nothing so much as that I am not like Timon.

Timon

Whither art going?

Apemantus

To knock out an honest Athenian’s brains.

Timon

That’s a deed thou’lt die for.

Apemantus

Right, if doing nothing be death by the law.

Timon

How likest thou this picture, Apemantus?

Apemantus

The best, for the innocence.

Timon

Wrought he not well that painted it?

Apemantus

He wrought better that made the painter; and yet he’s but a filthy piece of work.

Painter

You’re a dog.

Apemantus

Thy mother’s of my generation: what’s she, if I be a dog?

Timon

Wilt dine with me, Apemantus?

Apemantus

No; I eat not lords.

Timon

An thou shouldst, thou’ldst anger ladies.

Apemantus

O, they eat lords; so they come by great bellies.

Timon

That’s a lascivious apprehension.

Apemantus

So thou apprehendest it: take it for thy labour.

Timon

How dost thou like this jewel, Apemantus?

Apemantus

Not so well as plain-dealing, which will not cost a man a doit.

Timon

What dost thou think ’tis worth?

Apemantus

Not worth my thinking. How now, poet!

Poet

How now, philosopher!

Apemantus

Thou liest.

Poet

Art not one?

Apemantus

Yes.

Poet

Then I lie not.

Timon

O, no doubt, my good friends, but the gods themselves have provided that I shall have much help from you: how had you been my friends else? why have you that charitable title from thousands, did not you chiefly belong to my heart? I have told more of you to myself than you can with modesty speak in your own behalf; and thus far I confirm you. O you gods, think I, what need we have any friends, if we should ne’er have need of ’em? they were the most needless creatures living, should we ne’er have use for ’em, and would most resemble sweet instruments hung up in cases that keep their sounds to themselves. Why, I have often wished myself poorer, that I might come nearer to you. We are born to do benefits: and what better or properer can we can our own than the riches of our friends? O, what a precious comfort ’tis, to have so many, like brothers, commanding one another’s fortunes! O joy, e’en made away ere ’t can be born! Mine eyes cannot hold out water, methinks: to forget their faults, I drink to you.

Apemantus

Thou weepest to make them drink, Timon.

Second Lord

Joy had the like conception in our eyes And at that instant like a babe sprung up.

Apemantus

Ho, ho! I laugh to think that babe a bastard.

Flavius

O my good lord, At many times I brought in my accounts, Laid them before you; you would throw them off, And say, you found them in mine honesty. When, for some trifling present, you have bid me Return so much, I have shook my head and wept; Yea, ’gainst the authority of manners, pray’d you To hold your hand more close: I did endure Not seldom, nor no slight checks, when I have Prompted you in the ebb of your estate And your great flow of debts. My loved lord, Though you hear now, too late⁠—yet now’s a time⁠— The greatest of your having lacks a half To pay your present debts.

Timon

Let all my land be sold.

Flavius

’Tis all engaged, some forfeited and gone; And what remains will hardly stop the mouth Of present dues: the future comes apace: What shall defend the interim? and at length How goes our reckoning?

Timon

To Lacedaemon did my land extend.

Flavius

O my good lord, the world is but a word: Were it all yours to give it in a breath, How quickly were it gone!

Timon

You tell me true.

Flavius

If you suspect my husbandry or falsehood, Call me before the exactest auditors And set me on the proof. So the gods bless me, When all our offices have been oppress’d With riotous feeders, when our vaults have wept With drunken spilth of wine,

For these my present friends, as they are to me nothing, so in nothing bless them, and to nothing are they welcome.

Uncover, dogs, and lap. The dishes are uncovered and seen to be full of warm water.

Some speak

What does his lordship mean?

Some Other

I know not.

Timon

May you a better feast never behold, You knot of mouth-friends! smoke and luke-warm water Is your perfection. This is Timon’s last; Who, stuck and spangled with your flatteries, Washes it off, and sprinkles in your faces Your reeking villany. Throwing the water in their faces. Live loathed and long, Most smiling, smooth, detested parasites, Courteous destroyers, affable wolves, meek bears, You fools of fortune, trencher-friends, time’s flies, Cap and knee slaves, vapours, and minute-jacks! Of man and beast the infinite malady Crust you quite o’er! What, dost thou go? Soft! take thy physic first⁠—thou too⁠—and thou;⁠— Stay, I will lend thee money, borrow none. Throws the dishes at them, and drives them out. What, all in motion? Henceforth be no feast, Whereat a villain’s not a welcome guest. Burn, house! sink, Athens! henceforth hated be Of Timon man and all humanity! Exit.

Reenter the Lords, Senators, etc.