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The Vortex

by Noël Coward

Length: 16,299 words, about 65 pages, about 1 hour to read

Romance, Drama

Read The Vortex free, starting with its best pages and lines below. Listen to it free too, read aloud by your phone's own voice.

What it is

A son’s home-coming, along with his new fiancée, leads to trouble with his vain mother.

The best passages

Pages from the book itself, chosen to make you want to read on. Each opens in the reader at that exact spot.

Act I

The scene is the drawing-room of Mrs. Lancaster’s flat in London. The colors and decoration are on the verge of being original. The furniture is simple but distinctly expensive.

Persons shown are Helen Saville and Pauncefort Quentin. Helen Saville and Pauncefort Quentin are shown in by Preston. Helen is a smartly dressed woman of about thirty. “Pawnie” is an elderly maiden gentleman.

Preston

I’m expecting Mrs. Lancaster in at any moment now, ma’am.

Helen

Thank you, Preston, we’ll wait a little.

Preston

Shall I get you some tea?

Helen

No, thanks, we’ve already had some⁠—give me a cigarette, Pawnie; they’re in that box on the table.

Pawnie hands her cigarette box. Preston goes out.

Pawnie

It may be tiresome of me, but I think all this coloring is oppressive.

Helen

You make such a “fetish” of house decoration, Pawnie.

Pawnie

Wandering round the room.

Not at all, but I do like things to be good and right.

Helen

Well, I don’t consider the new frieze in your bathroom either good or right.

Pawnie

How can you, Helen! It’s too marvelous for words. Parelli designed it specially for me.

Helen

Personally, it would make me self-conscious to sit in a bath surrounded by frisky gods and goddesses all with such better figures than mine.

Pawnie

I find it encouraging. This whole room is so typical of Florence.

Helen

In what way?

Pawnie

Every way. Look at the furniture.

Helen

A little artificial perhaps, but quite harmless.

Keep reading from here

Act II

They start to dance. Helen moves over to the mantelpiece for a cigarette.

Helen

Have you a match, Nicky?

Nicky

Isn’t this a marvelous tune?

Helen

Fascinating! She goes over and sits next to him. Gently slipping her hand into his coat pocket. Darling, I do want a match. She brings out a little box. What a divine little box!

Nicky stops playing and jumps up.

Nicky

Violently.

Helen, give that to me!⁠—

Everyone stops dancing.

Clara

Nicky dear, don’t be tiresome.

Nicky

Recovering himself.

I’m sick of playing. Let’s have the gramophone again. To Helen. Here’s a light, dearie.

He takes matchbox out of another pocket and lights Helen’s cigarette. She looks at him queerly for a moment, then he restarts the gramophone and everyone begins to dance again except Helen and Bruce Fairlight. Helen goes over to the fireplace and takes a coffee-cup from the mantelpiece.

Helen

Whose coffee is this? Someone drank mine, and I’d hardly touched it.

Bruce

If it had no sugar in it, it’s mine.

Keep reading from here

Act II

Helen

You’re far more sentimental than I.

Nicky

Darling Helen⁠—you’ve got such a lovely mind⁠—like a Christmas card⁠—with frosted robins and sheep wandering about in the snow⁠—bleating.

Helen

All the same, I should give up drugs if I were you.

Nicky

Helen!

Helen

Well?

Nicky

I don’t know what you mean.

Helen

Do you think I can’t see?

Nicky

Forcing a laugh.

You’re being terribly funny, aren’t you?

Helen

You fool! You unutterable little fool!

Nicky

Don’t be dramatic, dear.

Helen

I thought you had common sense; I credited you with more intelligence than that.

Nicky

If you persist in being absurd.

Helen

Suddenly with intense feeling.

Nicky, don’t resist me, don’t fight me; I’m your friend; I wouldn’t have said a word if I weren’t. You’ve got to stop it; you haven’t gone very far yet; there’s still time. For God’s sake listen to reason.

Nicky

Shut up, shut up, don’t speak so loudly.

Helen

Nicky, throw it away.

Nicky

When did you find out?

Helen

Tonight, you know, when you were playing, but I’ve guessed for ages.

Nicky

You needn’t be frightened, Helen; I only take just the tiniest little bit, once in a blue moon!

Helen

If anything goes wrong, you’ll take a lot. Throw it away.

Keep reading from here

Act II

I wish I could make you understand her like I do. I mean she’s awfully irritating, I know⁠—but deep down she’s marvelous in spite of everything.

Bunty

Coldly.

Everything?

Nicky

Vehemently.

Yes, everything! Don’t be a beast, Bunty; just try to see her point a little, even if you do dislike her. She is terribly silly about being “young,” I know, but she’s been used to so much admiration and flattery and everything always, she feels she sort of can’t give it up⁠—you do see that, don’t you? And she hasn’t really anything in the least comforting to fall back upon. She’s not clever⁠—real kind of brain cleverness⁠—and father’s no good, and I’m no good, and all the time she’s wanting life to be as it was instead of as it is. There’s no harm in her anywhere⁠—she’s just young inside. Can’t you imagine the utter foulness of growing old? ’Specially if you’ve been lovely and attractive like she was. The beautiful Flo Lancaster! She used to be known as that. I can remember her when I was quite small, coming up to say good night to me, looking too perfectly radiant for words⁠—and she used to come to the school, too, sometimes, and everyone used to go mad over her, and I used to get frightfully proud and excited⁠—

Bunty

I’ve never heard you talk like this before.

Nicky

I don’t think I ever have.

Bunty

I like you better clear cut, not blurred by sentiment.

Nicky looks at her for a moment in amazement.

Nicky

To describe you as hard would be inadequate⁠—you’re metallic!

Keep reading from here

Act II

Bunty

All right⁠—Tom⁠—

Florence goes to the fireplace, trembling with rage. Nicky goes on playing. Tom and Bunty go towards the stairs.

Florence

Stop⁠—I want an explanation, please!

Bunty

How dare you speak to me like that?

Florence

Get out of my house! Get out of my house!

Bunty

This is disgusting!

Tom

I say, Florence⁠—

Florence

Get out of my house!

Bunty

I shall leave the first thing in the morning; it’s much too late tonight.

She goes off.

Nicky never stops playing for a moment.

Florence

Tom. He goes towards her, absolutely silent. You kissed her⁠—you kissed her⁠—I saw you!⁠—

Tom

Yes.

Florence

In this house!

Tom

Yes, Florence. I apologize.

Florence

Apologize! You’re beneath contempt. Never speak to me again, never touch me again⁠—I hate you!

Tom

Look here, Florence⁠—I’m desperately sorry. You see, I’m afraid I love her.

Florence

Hysterically.

You dare to stand there and say that to me? It’s incredible⁠—after all I’ve done for you⁠—after all we’ve been to each other. Love! You don’t know what it means. You’ve lied to me⁠—all these months. It’s contemptible⁠—humiliating. Get out of my sight!

Keep reading from here

9 of the best lines

Personally, it would make me self-conscious to sit in a bath surrounded by frisky gods and goddesses all with such better figures than mine.

Act IKeep reading from here

He’s divinely selfish; all amusing people are.

Act IKeep reading from here

You’re ten years older than I am, but when I’m your age I shall be twenty years older than you.

Act IKeep reading from here

I think it’s silly not to grow old when the time comes.

Act IKeep reading from here

Candles gutter awfully quickly when they’re burned at both ends.

Act IIKeep reading from here

Darling Helen⁠—you’ve got such a lovely mind⁠—like a Christmas card⁠—with frosted robins and sheep wandering about in the snow⁠—bleating.

Act IIKeep reading from here

To describe you as hard would be inadequate⁠—you’re metallic!

Act IIKeep reading from here

The great thing in this world is not to be obvious, Nicky⁠—over anything!

Act IIKeep reading from here

The long run never counts at the moment.

Act IIIKeep reading from here

All 9 The Vortex quotes, with the words around each

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Contents

  1. Act I
  2. Act II
  3. Act III

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About this edition

Text from Standard Ebooks. Standard Ebooks dedicate their edition to the public domain (CC0 1.0). Every passage and line on this page is the book's own words, checked against the text.