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The Lady of the Barge

by W. W. Jacobs

Length: 46,577 words, about 186 pages, about 3 hours to read

Fantasy, Short stories

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What it is

An anthology of several of W. W. Jacobs’ most famous short stories.

Famous works inside

The best passages

Pages from the book itself, chosen to make you want to read on. Each opens in the reader at that exact spot.

The Lady of the Barge

The master of the barge Arabella sat in the stern of his craft with his right arm leaning on the tiller. A desultory conversation with the mate of a schooner, who was hanging over the side of his craft a few yards off, had come to a conclusion owing to a difference of opinion on the subject of religion. The skipper had argued so warmly that he almost fancied he must have inherited the tenets of the Seventh-day Baptists from his mother while the mate had surprised himself by the warmth of his advocacy of a form of Wesleyanism which would have made the members of that sect open their eyes with horror. He had, moreover, confirmed the skipper in the error of his ways by calling him a bargee, the ranks of the Baptists receiving a defender if not a recruit from that hour.

With the influence of the religious argument still upon him, the skipper, as the long summer’s day gave place to night, fell to wondering where his own mate, who was also his brother-in-law, had got to. Lights which had been struggling with the twilight now burnt bright and strong, and the skipper, moving from the shadow to where a band of light fell across the deck, took out a worn silver watch and saw that it was ten o’clock.

Almost at the same moment a dark figure appeared on the jetty above and began to descend the ladder, and a strongly built young man of twenty-two sprang nimbly to the deck.

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Chapter I

Without, the night was cold and wet, but in the small parlour of Laburnam Villa the blinds were drawn and the fire burned brightly. Father and son were at chess, the former, who possessed ideas about the game involving radical changes, putting his king into such sharp and unnecessary perils that it even provoked comment from the white-haired old lady knitting placidly by the fire.

“Hark at the wind,” said Mr. White, who, having seen a fatal mistake after it was too late, was amiably desirous of preventing his son from seeing it.

“I’m listening,” said the latter, grimly surveying the board as he stretched out his hand. “Check.”

“I should hardly think that he’d come tonight,” said his father, with his hand poised over the board.

“Mate,” replied the son.

“That’s the worst of living so far out,” bawled Mr. White, with sudden and unlooked-for violence; “of all the beastly, slushy, out-of-the-way places to live in, this is the worst. Pathway’s a bog, and the road’s a torrent. I don’t know what people are thinking about. I suppose because only two houses in the road are let, they think it doesn’t matter.”

“Never mind, dear,” said his wife, soothingly; “perhaps you’ll win the next one.”

Mr. White looked up sharply, just in time to intercept a knowing glance between mother and son. The words died away on his lips, and he hid a guilty grin in his thin grey beard.

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Chapter I

Two men stood in the billiard-room of an old country house, talking. Play, which had been of a halfhearted nature, was over, and they sat at the open window, looking out over the park stretching away beneath them, conversing idly.

“Your time’s nearly up, Jem,” said one at length, “this time six weeks you’ll be yawning out the honeymoon and cursing the man⁠—woman I mean⁠—who invented them.”

Jem Benson stretched his long limbs in the chair and grunted in dissent.

“I’ve never understood it,” continued Wilfred Carr, yawning. “It’s not in my line at all; I never had enough money for my own wants, let alone for two. Perhaps if I were as rich as you or Croesus I might regard it differently.”

There was just sufficient meaning in the latter part of the remark for his cousin to forbear to reply to it. He continued to gaze out of the window and to smoke slowly.

“Not being as rich as Croesus⁠—or you,” resumed Carr, regarding him from beneath lowered lids, “I paddle my own canoe down the stream of Time, and, tying it to my friends’ doorposts, go in to eat their dinners.”

“Quite Venetian,” said Jem Benson, still looking out of the window. “It’s not a bad thing for you, Wilfred, that you have the doorposts and dinners⁠—and friends.”

Carr grunted in his turn. “Seriously though, Jem,” he said, slowly, “you’re a lucky fellow, a very lucky fellow. If there is a better girl above ground than Olive, I should like to see her.”

“Yes,” said the other, quietly.

“She’s such an exceptional girl,” continued Carr, staring out of the window. “She’s so good and gentle. She thinks you are a bundle of all the virtues.”

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Captain Rogers

A man came slowly over the old stone bridge, and averting his gaze from the dark river with its silent craft, looked with some satisfaction toward the feeble lights of the small town on the other side. He walked with the painful, forced step of one who has already trudged far. His worsted hose, where they were not darned, were in holes, and his coat and knee-breeches were rusty with much wear, but he straightened himself as he reached the end of the bridge and stepped out bravely to the taverns which stood in a row facing the quay.

He passed the Queen Anne⁠—a mere beershop⁠—without pausing, and after a glance apiece at the Royal George and the Trusty Anchor, kept on his way to where the Golden Key hung out a gilded emblem. It was the best house in Riverstone, and patronized by the gentry, but he adjusted his faded coat, and with a swaggering air entered and walked boldly into the coffee-room.

The room was empty, but a bright fire afforded a pleasant change to the chill October air outside. He drew up a chair, and placing his feet on the fender, exposed his tattered soles to the blaze, as a waiter who had just seen him enter the room came and stood aggressively inside the door.

“Brandy and water,” said the stranger; “hot.”

“The coffee-room is for gentlemen staying in the house,” said the waiter.

The stranger took his feet from the fender, and rising slowly, walked toward him.

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10 of the best lines

“Don’t talk to me; I’ve been arguing with a son of Belial for the last half-hour.”

The Lady of the BargeKeep reading from here

“It is colder for my son,” said the old woman, and wept afresh.

Chapter IIIKeep reading from here

Sailormen ’ave their faults, said the night watchman, frankly.

Bill’s Paper ChaseKeep reading from here

Mr. Negget, feeling that his mirth was certainly ill-timed, shook for some time in a noble effort to control himself, and despairing at length, went into the back place to recover.

Cupboard LoveKeep reading from here

“Fifteen years is a long nap,”

Captain RogersKeep reading from here

“If you don’t take care, old chap,” said Halibut, tenderly, “you’ll burst something.”

A Mixed ProposalKeep reading from here

“Ill? Nonsense!” said the skipper, severely. “We can’t both be ill. How about the ship?”

An Adulteration ActKeep reading from here

“I never ’ad no luck,” said the impenitent carpenter. “Nobody ever left me no money. Nobody ever left me so much as a fi-pun note.”

A Golden VentureKeep reading from here

“Draughts come natural to some people,” said Mrs. Pullen, modestly. “It’s as easy as kissing your fingers.”

A Golden VentureKeep reading from here

It is a long lane that has no turning, but this had several, each of which had turnings of its own, which generally led, as I found by trying two or three of them, into the open marshes.

Three at TableKeep reading from here

All 15 The Lady of the Barge quotes, with the words around each

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Contents

  1. The Monkey’s Paw
  2. Chapter I
  3. Chapter II
  4. Chapter III
  5. Bill’s Paper Chase
  6. The Well
  7. Chapter I
  8. Chapter II
  9. Chapter III
  10. Cupboard Love
  11. In the Library
  12. Captain Rogers
  13. A Tiger’s Skin
  14. A Mixed Proposal
  15. An Adulteration Act
  16. A Golden Venture
  17. Three at Table

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About this edition

Text from Standard Ebooks. Standard Ebooks dedicate their edition to the public domain (CC0 1.0). Every passage and line on this page is the book's own words, checked against the text.