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The Conjure Woman

by Charles W. Chesnutt

Length: 57,118 words, about 228 pages, about 4 hours to read

Short stories

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What it is

Former slave Julius tells fantastical tales about plantation life to the incredulous Northerners who have just moved in.

The best passages

Pages from the book itself, chosen to make you want to read on. Each opens in the reader at that exact spot.

The Goophered Grapevine

Some years ago my wife was in poor health, and our family doctor, in whose skill and honesty I had implicit confidence, advised a change of climate. I shared, from an unprofessional standpoint, his opinion that the raw winds, the chill rains, and the violent changes of temperature that characterized the winters in the region of the Great Lakes tended to aggravate my wife’s difficulty, and would undoubtedly shorten her life if she remained exposed to them. The doctor’s advice was that we seek, not a temporary place of sojourn, but a permanent residence, in a warmer and more equable climate. I was engaged at the time in grape-culture in northern Ohio, and, as I liked the business and had given it much study, I decided to look for some other locality suitable for carrying it on. I thought of sunny France, of sleepy Spain, of Southern California, but there were objections to them all. It occurred to me that I might find what I wanted in some one of our own Southern States. It was a sufficient time after the war for conditions in the South to have become somewhat settled; and I was enough of a pioneer to start a new industry, if I could not find a place where grape-culture had been tried. I wrote to a cousin who had gone into the turpentine business in central North Carolina. He assured me, in response to my inquiries, that no better place could be found in the South than the State and neighborhood where he lived; the

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The Goophered Grapevine

“Yas, suh. I lives des ober yander, behine de nex’ san’-hill, on de Lumberton plank-road.”

“Do you know anything about the time when this vineyard was cultivated?”

“Lawd bless you, suh, I knows all about it. Dey ain’ na’er a man in dis settlement w’at won’ tell you ole Julius McAdoo ’uz bawn en raise’ on dis yer same plantation. Is you de Norv’n gemman w’at’s gwine ter buy de ole vimya’d?”

“I am looking at it,” I replied; “but I don’t know that I shall care to buy unless I can be reasonably sure of making something out of it.”

“Well, suh, you is a stranger ter me, en I is a stranger ter you, en we is bofe strangers ter one anudder, but ’f I ’uz in yo’ place, I wouldn’ buy dis vimya’d.”

“Why not?” I asked.

“Well, I dunno whe’r you b’lieves in cunj’in’ er not⁠—some er de w’ite folks don’t, er says dey don’t⁠—but de truf er de matter is dat dis yer ole vimya’d is goophered.”

“Is what?” I asked, not grasping the meaning of this unfamiliar word.

“Is goophered⁠—cunju’d, bewitch’.”

He imparted this information with such solemn earnestness, and with such an air of confidential mystery, that I felt somewhat interested, while Annie was evidently much impressed, and drew closer to me.

“How do you know it is bewitched?” I asked.

“I wouldn’ spec’ fer you ter b’lieve me ’less you know all ’bout de fac’s. But ef you en young miss dere doan’ min’

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Po’ Sandy

“ ‘I’m gittin’ monst’us ti’ed er dish yer gwine roun’ so much. Here I is lent ter Mars Jeems dis mont’, en I got ter do so-en-so; en ter Mars Archie de nex’ mont’, en I got ter do so-en-so; den I got ter go ter Miss Jinnie’s: en hit’s Sandy dis en Sandy dat, en Sandy yer en Sandy dere, tel it ’pears ter me I ain’ got no home, ner no marster, ner no mistiss, ner no nuffin. I can’t eben keep a wife: my yuther ole ’oman wuz sol’ away widout my gittin’ a chance fer ter tell her good-by; en now I got ter go off en leab you, Tenie, en I dunno whe’r I’m eber gwine ter see you ag’in er no. I wisht I wuz a tree, er a stump, er a rock, er sump’n w’at could stay on de plantation fer a w’ile.’

“Atter Sandy got thoo talkin’, Tenie didn’ say naer word, but des sot dere by de fier, studyin’ en studyin’. Bimeby she up ’n’ says:⁠—

“ ‘Sandy, is I eber tol’ you I wuz a cunjuh ’oman?’

“Co’se Sandy hadn’ nebber dremp’ er nuffin lack dat, en he made a great ’miration w’en he hear w’at Tenie say. Bimeby Tenie went on:⁠—

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Hot-Foot Hannibal

“I hate you and despise you! I wish never to see you or speak to you again!”

“Very well; I will take care that henceforth you have no opportunity to do either.”

These words⁠—the first in the passionately vibrant tones of my sister-in-law, and the latter in the deeper and more restrained accents of an angry man⁠—startled me from my nap. I had been dozing in my hammock on the front piazza, behind the honeysuckle vine. I had been faintly aware of a buzz of conversation in the parlor, but had not at all awakened to its import until these sentences fell, or, I might rather say, were hurled upon my ear. I presume the young people had either not seen me lying there⁠—the Venetian blinds opening from the parlor windows upon the piazza were partly closed on account of the heat⁠—or else in their excitement they had forgotten my proximity.

I felt somewhat concerned. The young man, I had remarked, was proud, firm, jealous of the point of honor, and, from my observation of him, quite likely to resent to the bitter end what he deemed a slight or an injustice. The girl, I knew, was quite as high-spirited as young Murchison. I feared she was not so just, and hoped she would prove more yielding. I knew that her affections were strong and enduring, but that her temperament was capricious, and her sunniest moods easily overcast by some small cloud of jealousy or pique. I had never imagined, however, that she was capable of such intensity as was revealed by these few words of hers. As I say, I felt concerned.

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Lonesome Ben

“W’en Ben seed her comin’ he waited ’til she got close by, an’ den he stepped out ’n de woods an’ come face ter face wid her. She didn’ ’pear to know who he wuz, an’ seem kinder skeered.

“ ‘Hoddy, Dasdy honey,’ he said.

“ ‘Huh!’ she said, ‘ ’pears ter me you’er mighty fermilyer on sho’t acquaintance.’

“ ‘Sho’t acquaintance. Why, doan’ yer know me, Dasdy?’

“ ‘No. I doan know yer f’om a skeercrow. I never seed yer befo’ in my life, an’ nebber wants ter see yer ag’in. Whar did yer com f’om anyhow? Whose nigger is yer? Er is yer some low-down free nigger dat doan b’long ter nobody an’ doan own nobody?’

“ ‘W’at fer you talk ter me like dat, honey? I’s Ben, yo’ Ben. Why doan you know yo’ own man?’

“He put out his ahms fer ter draw her ter ’im, but she jes’ gib one yell, an’ stahted ter run. Ben wuz so ’stonish’ he didn’ know w’at ter do, an’ he stood dere in de road ’til he heared somebody e’se comin’, w’en he dahted in de woods ag’in.

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10 of the best lines

Indeed, when I first saw the town, there brooded over it a calm that seemed almost sabbatic in its restfulness, though I learned later on that underneath its somnolent exterior the deeper currents of life⁠—love and hatred, joy and despair, ambition and avarice, faith and friendship⁠—flowed not less steadily than in livelier latitudes.

The Goophered GrapevineKeep reading from here

No, eve’ybody’s skeered er a wolf, en I doan want nobody ter be skeered er me.

Po’ SandyKeep reading from here

Uncle Julius says that ghosts never disturb religious worship, but that if Sandy’s spirit should happen to stray into meeting by mistake, no doubt the preaching would do it good.

Po’ SandyKeep reading from here

Terbacker is lack religion, de good Lawd made it fer people, en dey ain’ no yuther creetur w’at kin ’preciate it.

The Conjurer’s RevengeKeep reading from here

How absurd to imagine that the forefoot of a poor dead rabbit, with which he timorously felt his way along through a life surrounded by snares and pitfalls, beset by enemies on every hand, can promote happiness or success, or ward off failure or misfortune!

Sis’ Becky’s PickaninnyKeep reading from here

I had never been able to interest my wife in the study of philosophy, even when presented in the simplest and most lucid form.

The Gray Wolf’s Ha’ntKeep reading from here

Dey’s mo’ ways ’n one ter skin a cat, en dey’s mo’ d’n one way ter git in a smoke-’ouse⁠—leastways dat’s w’at I hearn say.

Dave’s NecklissKeep reading from here

There are thieves wherever there is portable property, and I don’t imagine colored people like chicken better than other people.

A Victim of HeredityKeep reading from here

I had never heard the vocal expression of a lost soul, but I tried, without success, to imagine that I could distinguish one individual croak from another.

Tobe’s TribulationsKeep reading from here

I s’pose you des wants ter lay down at night, do yo’ trabblin’ in yo’ sleep, en wake free in de mawn’in.

Tobe’s TribulationsKeep reading from here

All 21 The Conjure Woman quotes, with the words around each

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Contents

  1. The Goophered Grapevine
  2. Po’ Sandy
  3. Mars Jeems’s Nightmare
  4. The Conjurer’s Revenge
  5. Sis’ Becky’s Pickaninny
  6. The Gray Wolf’s Ha’nt
  7. Hot-Foot Hannibal
  8. Other Julius Tales
  9. Dave’s Neckliss
  10. Lonesome Ben
  11. A Victim of Heredity
  12. Tobe’s Tribulations

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About this edition

Text from Standard Ebooks. Standard Ebooks dedicate their edition to the public domain (CC0 1.0). Every passage and line on this page is the book's own words, checked against the text.