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Perishable Goods

by Dornford Yates

Length: 66,339 words, about 265 pages, about 5 hours to read

Adventure

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What it is

A group of men hunt for the kidnappers of a friend’s wife.

The best passages

Pages from the book itself, chosen to make you want to read on. Each opens in the reader at that exact spot.

I: First Blood

It was in October, 1926, that George Hanbury and I first set up house in Wiltshire; and, since for the next six months we hunted four days a week, yet would commit to no one the pleasant task of setting our home in order, I do not think we slept out of Maintenance⁠—for from time immemorial that has been the name of the place⁠—more than seven times. But two of the visits I paid stand out of my memory, and, as they bear upon the matters which I am to tell, I will set them down.

In the first week of December the wedding of one of my cousins took me to town.

Now neither Hanbury nor I would have dreamed of visiting London without calling on Jonathan Mansel, whose flat was in Cleveland Row; for we three had made our fortune together and together had proved the stuff of which friendship is made. That apart, Mansel was the very finest gentleman that ever I knew: his ways were quiet, and his address was simple; but there was a natural royalty about him such as, I think, few monarchs have been able to boast.

I started betimes and travelled to London by road, and the clock of St. James’s Palace was striking nine as I turned out of Marlborough Gate into Cleveland Row. Except for my servant, Bell, I was alone.

Here let me say that it was Mansel who had taught me the virtue of being early abroad and, particularly, of taking a journey before the world was awake; “for,” said

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III: In Touch

When we came in at nightfall, at the end of our second patrol, Rouse was still abroad in his car. For this relief we were thankful, for the evening before he had sat with us during our supper and, hungry though we were, had gone far to spoil the meal. Our respite, however, was short, for we had scarcely sat down before we heard him arrive, and a moment later he thrust his head into the room.

“Guess who I’ve seen,” he said archly.

No one vouchsafed any answer; but Tester spoke for us all, by leaving his cushion and passing beneath the bed.

“Mr. Wilberforce,” said Rouse triumphantly.

The name meant nothing to me, and a glance at Mansel and Hanbury showed that their case was the same.

At length⁠—

“Who’s Wilberforce?” said Mansel wearily.

Rouse’s grin faded, and his eyes grew round with surprise. Then he came into the room.

“He⁠—he said he knew you,” he stammered. “He said he knew you quite well. I met him by the side of the road. He asked me the way to Salzburg, and then we got talking and, when I said you were at Villach, he asked how you were.”

“What was he like?” said Hanbury.

Rouse described some man I had never seen.

“When was this?” said Mansel.

Rouse said about six o’clock.

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IV: The Castle of Gath

Casemate rounded the corner and passed below where I hung. Finding the road deserted, he stopped in his tracks and, after a long look, turned on his heel and began to walk back up the hill, whistling some air as he went. He paused for a moment beneath me, to take out a cigarette, and, as he did so, we both heard the sound of the horn of an oncoming car.

Now this meant nothing to me, for the horn was that of some car which was going to Lass, but Casemate stiffened like a pointer and stood with his ears pricked and a match in one of his hands and its box in the other. Indeed, so concerned was his demeanour, that I expected him every instant to take to his heels, though why he should fear some car which could hardly be one of ours I could not think.

The horn was not sounded again, but soon we heard a car coming at a high enough speed.

Casemate immediately whipped to the side of the road, and, taking his stand by the bend, peered anxiously round. The next moment he was out in the fairway, spreading and waving his arms as a signal to stop.

I heard the brakes clapped on, but the car was round the corner before it had come to rest.

Casemate came running back, and somebody put out a head.

“What is it?” said Rose Noble.

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VIII: Out of Sight, Out of Mind

The shutting of a door roused me, and I sat up to find myself alone.

The mountaintops before me were alight with sunshine, and in the huge void which lay between them and the terrace a great bird was sailing and wheeling, as an aeroplane at play.

For a moment I watched it lazily. Then I remembered with a shock the plan we had laid and how perfectly it had worked and how, in the moment of triumph, Adèle had brought it to nought.

In a flash I was on my feet, and trying to think what to do.

I had been left in a faint, not so much as bound. My pistol had been taken, but not my knife. It was clear that I was regarded as safe under lock and key.

At this my heart leaped up, for, of course, I could leave by the suite whenever I pleased: the only question was how to turn to account this unsuspected freedom.

In view of the turn events had taken, Mansel was sure to continue his pretence of a broken back: finding their purpose frustrated, George and the servants were probably lying concealed in the southeast tower: I was at liberty, and the enemy was clean off his guard. If we had shot at a pigeon, we had killed something more than a crow.

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VIII: Out of Sight, Out of Mind

Rose Noble came up quietly, without any haste. Had I not been expecting to hear them, I should not have heard his steps. I had thought that he would come running and crying for Punter or Bunch. But he did not. Rather he seemed to be prowling, like some suspicious beast.

For a moment he paused on the opposite side of my stack, for all the world as though he had heard me move. Then he went on his way to the southwest tower.

I let him take ten paces. Then I rounded the stack and made my dash for the door.

And here, I think, my heart stood suddenly still.

The door was shut: and when I lifted the latch, I found it was barred.

For an instant I stared at it blankly. Then the truth rose up in a blinding flash.

Knowing nothing of me, Mansel had followed Rose Noble up the stair and had played my hand before I could play it myself.

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10 of the best lines

A celibate sees a scandal in every bow. The memory of the most harmless flirtation is a millstone round Jonah’s neck.

I: First BloodKeep reading from here

“Learn of me,” said Mansel. “Never burn anything.”

II: We Take the FieldKeep reading from here

Do please remember that battles have gone wrong, wars have been lost and the history of the world has been changed, because valour has outrun discretion and men have lost touch.

IV: The Castle of GathKeep reading from here

Nature and Fortune have driven us into this Eden, and I don’t think we should be human if we didn’t help each other to pick the flowers.

VI: The Love of a LadyKeep reading from here

Mansel was standing, waiting, cool as a man in a garden, regarding his flowers.

VII: We Practise to DeceiveKeep reading from here

I don’t mind dirty weather, but I like to know where I am.

VII: We Practise to DeceiveKeep reading from here

The place did not seem like a roof, but like a gigantic terrace, hung in the air.

VIII: Out of Sight, Out of MindKeep reading from here

When you see the sun on the leaves and you hear the birds piping around, I guess you’ll remember today, and, when you remember, I reckon you’ll wish it was raining and that the boughs were bare.

VIII: Out of Sight, Out of MindKeep reading from here

Look Fate in the eyes, my darling, and he’ll always give you the wall.

IX: Full MeasureKeep reading from here

Call in a doctor, and you always open the sluice.

IX: Full MeasureKeep reading from here

All 20 Perishable Goods quotes, with the words around each

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Contents

  1. I: First Blood
  2. II: We Take the Field
  3. III: In Touch
  4. IV: The Castle of Gath
  5. V: Mansel Takes Off the Gloves
  6. VI: The Love of a Lady
  7. VII: We Practise to Deceive
  8. VIII: Out of Sight, Out of Mind
  9. IX: Full Measure

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About this edition

Text from Standard Ebooks. Standard Ebooks dedicate their edition to the public domain (CC0 1.0). Every passage and line on this page is the book's own words, checked against the text.