Topsy-Turvy quotes

“Well then, according to your opinion, no woman seeing an apple fall could have discovered the law of universal gravitation, so that it would have made her the most illustrious scientific person of the seventeenth century?”

“In seeing an apple fall, Mrs. Scorbitt, a woman would have but the single idea⁠—to eat it⁠—for example, our mother Eve.”

“Pshaw, I see very well that you deny us all aptitude for high speculations.”

Mrs. Evangelina Scorbitt blushed deliciously, for she felt, according to report, a singular sympathy for J. T. Maston.

Besides, is not the heart of a woman an unfathomable gulf?

It was really an immense undertaking to which this rich American widow had resolved to devote large sums of money.

This code was not acceptable to all, and the Polar region had remained without inhabitants.

As that which belongs to none belongs to everyone, the new Society did not wish merely to occupy it, but to purchase it outright, and so avoid further claims.

There never is in the United States any project so bold as not to find people to regard it as practical and back it with large amounts of money.

“But it seems to me that England,” said the Major in a rough voice, “and Russia,” said the Colonel, with nostrils terribly dilated, “and Holland,” said the Counsellor; “as God has given Denmark to the Danish,” observed Eric Baldenak—

“Excuse me, there is only one country,” interrupted Dean Toodrink, “which has been given by our Lord, and that is the world.”

“And why,” said the Swedish delegate? “Did not the poet say

Mr. William S. Forster, seeming very much interested in his paper, made some pencil notes. Mr. J. T., only replied to the smiles of Mrs. Evangelina Scorbitt with a nod of the head.

“Hurry up, gentlemen; a little life. Don’t let us linger. This is very weak, very slow,” said the auctioneer.

“Let me see. Nobody says more. Must I knock down the North Pole at such a price?” and as he spoke his hammer went up and down just like the cross in a priest’s hands when he wishes to bless his people.

These only looked back their hope that by his bidding the Arctic region would escape the American bidder and would become the property of the European powers. But this was his last effort.

The Major opened his mouth, closed it again, and in his person England sat down on itself.

“Hip, hip, hurrah for the United States,” roared the winners for victorious America. And in one instant the news of the purchase ran all over Baltimore, and by telegraph all over the United States, and by cable all over the Old World.

“And above all do not make a mistake,” added President Barbicane. “A mistake? He?” exclaimed Mrs. Scorbitt.

“No more than God has made a mistake in putting together this world,” modestly answered the Secretary.

Then, after shaking hands all around and after several more sighs and wishes of success and suggestions not to make too severe a work of it, the calculator was left alone.

“Gentlemen,” said the President of the Gun Club,

“Archimedes only asked for a lever to lift the world. Well, this lever we have found. We are now in a position to remove the North Pole.”

“What, remove the North Pole?” cried Eric Baldenak.

But the hurrahs seemed to rend the hall asunder, when President Barbicane made the additional remark: “It is the sun which will take upon himself the melting of the icebergs and fields around the North Pole, and thus make access to the same very easy.

So, as people cannot go to the pole, the pole will come to them.

”

Evangelina Scorbitt! And so ended the conversation every time that this excellent woman visited the prisoner. And when the Inquiry Committee asked her what the result was, she would say: “Nothing as yet; perhaps with time I shall be able to reach my point.”

Ah, women, women! What are women?

“In time,” she urged. But time went on with fast steps. Weeks went ’round like days, days like hours and hours like minutes.

“That you will be hanged as sure, sir, as two and two make four.”

“Then, sir, I have yet a chance,” said J. T. Maston, reflectingly.

“If you were a little better mathematician you would not say that two and two are four. You simply prove that all mathematicians have been fools until today in affirming that the sum of two numbers is equal to one of their parts;

“Really?” said Capt. Nicholl, with a tone of sarcasm.

“Yes, your melimelonite is good only to charge pistols of straw.”

Capt. Nicholl sprang up at this remark, which was an outrageous insult to him.