The Taming of the Shrew

Ye are a baggage: the Slys are no rogues; look in the chronicles; we came in with Richard Conqueror. Therefore paucas pallabris; let the world slide: sessa!

Hostess

You will not pay for the glasses you have burst?

Sly

No, not a denier. Go by, Jeronimy: go to thy cold bed, and warm thee.

Hostess

I know my remedy; I must go fetch the third-borough. Exit.

Sly

Third, or fourth, or fifth borough, I’ll answer him by law: I’ll not budge an inch, boy: let him come, and kindly. Falls asleep.

Horns winded. Enter a Lord from hunting, with his train.

Lord

Huntsman, I charge thee, tender well my hounds: Brach Merriman, the poor cur is emboss’d; And couple Clowder with the deep-mouth’d brach.

Padua. A public place.

Enter Lucentio and his man Tranio.

Lucentio

Tranio, since for the great desire I had To see fair Padua, nursery of arts, I am arrived for fruitful Lombardy, The pleasant garden of great Italy; And by my father’s love and leave am arm’d With his good will and thy good company, My trusty servant, well approved in all, Here let us breathe and haply institute A course of learning and ingenious studies. Pisa renown’d for grave citizens Gave me my being and my father first, A merchant of great traffic through the world, Vincentio, come of Bentivolii. Vincentio’s son brought up in Florence It shall become to serve all hopes conceived, To deck his fortune with his virtuous deeds: And therefore, Tranio, for the time I study, Virtue and that part of philosophy Will I apply that treats of happiness By virtue specially to be achieved. Tell me thy mind; for I have Pisa left And am to Padua come, as he that leaves A shallow plash to plunge him in the deep And with satiety seeks to quench his thirst.

Tranio

Mi perdonato, gentle master mine, I am in all affected as yourself; Glad that you thus continue your resolve To suck the sweets of sweet philosophy. Only, good master, while we do admire This virtue and this moral discipline, Let’s be no stoics nor no stocks, I pray; Or so devote to Aristotle’s checks As Ovid be an outcast quite abjured: Balk logic with acquaintance that you have And practise

Enter Katharina.

Good morrow, Kate; for that’s your name, I hear.

Katharina

Well have you heard, but something hard of hearing: They call me Katharine that do talk of me.

Petruchio

You lie, in faith; for you are call’d plain Kate, And bonny Kate and sometimes Kate the curst; But Kate, the prettiest Kate in Christendom, Kate of Kate Hall, my super-dainty Kate, For dainties are all Kates, and therefore, Kate, Take this of me, Kate of my consolation; Hearing thy mildness praised in every town, Thy virtues spoke of, and thy beauty sounded, Yet not so deeply as to thee belongs, Myself am moved to woo thee for my wife.

Katharina

Moved! in good time: let him that moved you hither Remove you hence: I knew you at the first You were a moveable.

Petruchio

Why, what’s a moveable?

Katharina

A join’d-stool.

Petruchio

Thou hast hit it: come, sit on me.

Katharina

Asses are made to bear, and so are you.

Petruchio

Women are made to bear, and so are you.

Katharina

No such jade as you, if me you mean.

Petruchio

Alas! good Kate, I will not burden thee; For, knowing thee to be but young and light⁠—

Katharina

Too light for such a swain as you to catch; And yet as heavy as my weight should be.

Petruchio

Should be! should⁠—buzz!

Katharina

Well ta’en, and like a buzzard.

Why, Petruchio is coming in a new hat and an old jerkin, a pair of old breeches thrice turned, a pair of boots that have been candle-cases, one buckled, another laced, an old rusty sword ta’en out of the town-armoury, with a broken hilt, and chapeless; with two broken points: his horse hipped with an old mothy saddle and stirrups of no kindred; besides, possessed with the glanders and like to mose in the chine; troubled with the lampass, infected with the fashions, full of wingdalls, sped with spavins, rayed with yellows, past cure of the fives, stark spoiled with the staggers, begnawn with the bots, swayed in the back and shoulder-shotten; near-legged before and with a half-checked bit and a head-stall of sheeps leather which, being restrained to keep him from stumbling, hath been often burst and now repaired with knots; one girth six time pieced and a woman’s crupper of velure, which hath two letters for her name fairly set down in studs, and here and there pieced with pack-thread.

Tut, she’s a lamb, a dove, a fool to him! I’ll tell you, Sir Lucentio: when the priest Should ask, if Katharine should be his wife, “Ay, by gogs-wouns,” quoth he; and swore so loud, That, all-amazed, the priest let fall the book; And, as he stoop’d again to take it up, The mad-brain’d bridegroom took him such a cuff That down fell priest and book and book and priest: “Now take them up,” quoth he, “if any list.”

Tranio

What said the wench when he rose again?

Gremio

Trembled and shook; for why, he stamp’d and swore, As if the vicar meant to cozen him. But after many ceremonies done, He calls for wine: “A health!” quoth he, as if He had been aboard, carousing to his mates After a storm; quaff’d off the muscadel And threw the sops all in the sexton’s face; Having no other reason But that his beard grew thin and hungerly And seem’d to ask him sops as he was drinking. This done, he took the bride about the neck And kiss’d her lips with such a clamorous smack That at the parting all the church did echo: And I seeing this came thence for very shame; And after me, I know, the rout is coming. Such a mad marriage never was before: Hark, hark! I hear the minstrels play. Music.

Reenter Petruchio, Katharina, Bianca, Baptista, Hortensio, Grumio, and Train.

Petruchio