The Mule-Bone quotes

I know you kin and that’s de reason I ain’t going to tempt you. But youse gettin’ old in lots of ways—look at dat bald head—just as clean as my hand. Exposes his palm.

Don’t keer if it tis⁠—I don’t want nothin’⁠—not even hair⁠—between me and God.

General laughter—Lige joins in as well. Cane chewing keeps up. Silence for a moment.

He was too mean to git fat.

He was so skinny you could do a week’s washing on his ribs for a washboard and hang ’em up on his hipbones to dry.

I ’member one day, Brazzle, you sent yo’ boy to Winter Park after some groceries wid a basket. So here he went down de road ridin’ dis mule wid dis basket on his arm.

Aw, shut up, you married men!

Man don’t go blind cause he gits married, do he?

Enter Daisy hurriedly. Stops at step a moment. She is dressed in sheer organdie, white shoes and stockings.

Frightened. Don’t y’all run tell mama where I been.

Well, you tell us which one you laks de best and we’ll wipe our mouf gesture and say nothin’.

Dem boys been de best of friends all they life, till both of ’em took after you … then goodbye, Katy bar de door!

Course you ain’t. You don’t have to. All two boys need to do is to git stuck on de same girl and they done broke up … right now!

Wimmen is something can’t be divided equal.

Reenter Joe Lindsay and Clark with the groceries. Daisy jumps up and grabs the packages.

Pshaw, you ain’t seen no big woman, nohow, man. I seen one once so big she went to whip her little boy and he run up under her belly and hid six months ’fore she could find him.

Well, I knowed a woman so little that she had to get up on a soap box to look over a grain of sand.

Rev. Simms comes out of store, each child behind him sucking a stick of candy.

Well, there ain’t no sense in no one man stayin’ Mayor all the time.

Well, it’s my town and I can be mayor jus’ as long as I want to. It was me that put this town on the map.

What map you put it on, Joe Clark? I ain’t seen it on no map.

I know I ain’t gonna give no woman nothin’.

I wouldn’t give a dog a doughnut if he treed a terrapin.

Youse a cottontail dispute … both of you. You’d give her anything you got. You’d give her Georgia with a fence ’round it.

Youse a cottontail dispute … both of you. You’d give her anything you got.

You’d give her Georgia with a fence ’round it.

Yeah, and she’d take it, too.

Calls into the store. Hey, Clark, cime on out here and tell Cody ’bout dat Bradley house. To Cody. I know you wants to git a place of yo’ own so you kin settle down.

He done moved so much since he been here till every time he walk out in his back yeard his chickens lay down and cross they legs.

Cody, I thought you tole us you was going up to Sanford to bring dat ’oman down here last Sat’day.

I et your grub? And many time as you done laid down with your belly full of my grandma’s collard greens. You done et my meat and bread a whole lot more times than I et your stewed fish-heads.

I’d rather eat stewed fish-heads than steal out of other folkses houses so much till you went to sleep on the roost and fell down one night and broke up the settin’ hen.

Loud laughter from the crowd.

I bet if judgment day was to happen tomorrow he’d speck I orter fix him a bucket to carry long. She moves to exit, right.

All men favors they guts, chile.

But what you think of all dis mess they got goin’ on round here?

You ain’t nobody’s pretty baby, yo’self.

You so ugly I betcha yo’ wife have to spread uh sheet over yo’ head tuh let sleep slip up on yuh.

Threatening. You better git way from me while you able. I done tole you I don’t wanter break a breath wid you. It’s uh whole heap better tuh walk off on yo’ own legs than it is to be toted off.

To Dave. De wind may blow, de doorway slam Dat shut you shootin’ ain’t worth a dam. To Daisy.

I’d buy you a great big ole ship⁠ ⁠… and then, baby, I’d buy you a ocean to sail yo’ ship on.

To Jim. A long tain, a short caboose Dat lie whut you shootin’, ain’t no use. To Daisy. Miss Daisy, know what I’d do for you?

Outraged. Don’t you mean to work none?

Wouldn’t hit a lick at a snake.

I don’t blame you, Dave, looks down at his feet cause toting dem feet of yourn is enough to break down your constitution.