The Lazy Detective quotes

After all, what was the use of arguing?

Divisional Detective Inspector Labar was under no illusions about himself. He was lazy.

All Scotland Yard knew it. Particularly did Winter, Chief Constable of the Criminal Investigation Department know it, for in some sort Labar was a protégé of his. Yet that shrewd old veteran reckoned that even the quality of indolence had its uses.

Moreland, of the Flying Squad, grinned cheerfully.

“Behold the infant phenomenon of Grape Street, as the apostle of gloom,”

he said, walking round Labar with mock awe. “Behold his shiny boots and well-creased trousers, and mark his creased forehead and frowning countenance. No, don’t speak. Let me apply my well-known powers of deduction.” He put his hand to his brow.

“Easy, sir. Yes, it should be easy.” Labar permitted a sardonic note to creep into his voice.

“About as easy as taking treacle from a bear’s mouth. I’m a detective, not a miracle worker.”

Detectives after all, are very like other human beings. Labar was concerned at the back of his mind with the reaction this robbery might have upon his own personal affairs. He was not in good odour with his chiefs.

“Ah, well,” said Labar, mildly. “Perhaps I’ve made a mistake. I’ll hope to see you in the morning and explain. Goodbye.”

Detectives of Scotland Yard have more use for bowler hats than for halos.

Whatever the writers may make of them they have few illusions about themselves. They are very much of the same clay as human beings in less glamorous callings.

There lurked a humorous twitch at the corner of Larry Hughes’ lips, and there was less cynicism there.

“Tell me, did you ever hear of a foxhunter giving up because he might break his neck? If I were a criminal, it’s just conceivable that I might like the game for its own sake.”

“Then I hope you break your neck,” retorted Labar with asperity. “I’ll give you a case in point. When you let amateurs into this bust you slipped a cog.

“No, I scarcely expected it. He’s not a popular novelist.

He says that in preparation it is good to realise dangers, and in action wisest to disregard them.

So I shan’t go to Kempton Park today. I’m wanting the car at once, and you’ll come with me. We’re going to disregard a danger.”

“Through for now. I may have to see you again, I hope. Look after yourself.”

Sufficient for the day are the troubles thereof.

That was part of Gold Dust Teddy’s philosophy. He did not for an instant suppose that Labar was as generous as he appeared to be—there was certainly something behind this move. But the immediate fact was that he was out of a hole.

The other applied a match to his cigar with cold deliberation.

“I have been long enough in this world to know that every man is to be bought if the price can be paid,”

he said.

A little puzzled frown appeared on his forehead.

Larry Hughes would have made a great actor.

“Financial advantage? I don’t get you, my dear girl.”

She put her hand in front of his mouth.

“A very extraordinary policeman,” she corrected with a laugh. “I won’t have you call yourself names.”

He bent and kissed her, and then got to his feet. “Shall we move?” he asked. “You will be getting chilled.”

Labar disengaged himself. “There is nothing at all to worry about, my dear. I shall take good care of myself now, I assure you. There will be no more danger than if I was engaged on a rat hunt.”

“Trapped rats sometimes bite.”

“I propose to do all the biting this time,” he laughed. “Be a good child, and I’ll promise to keep well out of any trouble. If they start shooting, I’ll hide behind Malone. He’s big enough.”

Labar disengaged himself. “There is nothing at all to worry about, my dear. I shall take good care of myself now, I assure you. There will be no more danger than if I was engaged on a rat hunt.”

“I propose to do all the biting this time,” he laughed. “Be a good child, and I’ll promise to keep well out of any trouble. If they start shooting, I’ll hide behind Malone. He’s big enough.”

Blowing her a kiss he retired to his own room. His mask of nonchalance dropped from him as soon as he was away from her sight, to be replaced by determined thought.

The Assistant Commissioner applied a match to his pipe.

“As a small boy one of my most determined dreams was to see an Aladdin’s cave some day. Now I know what it would look like.”

“There were forty thieves in that business,” said Winter. “Larry seems to have resurrected the whole gang.”

The Assistant Commissioner applied a match to his pipe. “As a small boy one of my most determined dreams was to see an Aladdin’s cave some day. Now I know what it would look like.”

“There were forty thieves in that business,” said Winter. “Larry seems to have resurrected the whole gang.”

They carried the loot back into the house where a more precise examination of the contents of the bags could be made, and a detailed list written out.

It is a trait of human nature—particularly criminal human nature—to be more disposed to confidence where there are not too many witnesses. Labar felt, also, that there might arise occasions for questioning that a strict interpretation of the law would not permit.

Every Scotland Yard man must on occasion put a blind eye to the telescope.

The laws and regulations made to protect the public if carried out to the letter would make the detection of crime almost impossible.