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The Absolute at Large

by Karel Čapek

Length: 50,263 words, about 201 pages, about 4 hours to read

Science fiction, Satire and humour

Read The Absolute at Large free, starting with its best pages and lines below. Listen to it free too, read aloud by your phone's own voice.

What it is

An inventor builds an atomic engine which converts matter into energy, but has the unfortunate side-effect of liberating divinity into the world.

The best passages

Pages from the book itself, chosen to make you want to read on. Each opens in the reader at that exact spot.

I: The Advertisement

On New Year’s Day, 1943, G. H. Bondy, head of the great Metallo-Electrical Company, was sitting as usual reading his paper. He skipped the news from the theatre of war rather disrespectfully, avoided the Cabinet crisis, then crowded on sail (for the People’s Journal, which had grown long ago to five times its ancient size, now afforded enough canvas for an ocean voyage) for the Finance and Commerce section. Here he cruised about for quite a while, then furled his sails, and abandoned himself to his thoughts.

“The Coal Crisis!” he said to himself. “Mines getting worked out; the Ostrava basin suspending work for years. Heavens above, it’s a sheer disaster! We’ll have to import Upper Silesian coal. Just work out what that will add to the cost of our manufactures, and then talk about competition. We’re in a pretty fix. And if Germany raises her tariff, we may as well shut up shop. And the Industrial Banks going down, too! What a wretched state of affairs! What a hopeless, stupid, stifling state of affairs! Oh, damn the crisis!”

Here G. H. Bondy, Chairman of the Board of Directors, came to a pause. Something was fidgeting him and would not let him rest. He traced it back to the last page of his discarded newspaper. It was the syllable tion, only part of a word, for the fold of the paper came just in front of the t. It was this very incompleteness which had so curiously impressed itself upon him.

“Well, hang it, it’s probably iron production,” Bondy pondered vaguely, “or prevention, or, maybe, restitution⁠ ⁠… And the Azote shares have gone down, too. The stagnation’s simply shocking.

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II: The Karburator

Bondy went down the cellar steps, quite glad to be away from that madman for a while (quite mad, no doubt whatever about it) and rather worried as to the quickest means of getting out of the place altogether. Why, just look, the cellar had a huge thick reinforced door just like an armour-plated safe in a bank. And now let’s have a light. The switch was just by the door. And there in the middle of the arched concrete cellar, clean as a monastery cell, lay a gigantic copper cylinder resting on cement supports. It was closed on all sides except at the top, where there was a grating bedecked with seals. Inside the machine all was darkness and silence. With a smooth and regular motion the cylinder thrust forth a piston which slowly rotated a heavy flywheel. That was all. Only the ventilator in the cellar window kept up a ceaseless rattle.

Perhaps it was the draught from the ventilator or something⁠—but Mr. Bondy felt a peculiar breeze upon his brow, and an eerie sensation as though his hair were standing on end; and then it seemed as if he were being borne through boundless space; and then as though he were floating in the air without any sensation of his own weight. G. H. Bondy fell on his knees, lost in a bewildering, shining ecstasy. He felt as if he must shout and sing, he seemed to hear about him the rustle of unceasing and innumerable wings. And suddenly someone seized him violently by the hand and dragged him from the cellar. It was Marek, wearing over his head a mask or a helmet like a diver’s, and he hauled Bondy up the stairs.

Up in the room he pulled off his metal head-covering and wiped away the sweat that soaked his brow.

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VIII: The Dredge

Everyone turned towards the opening leading from the deck to the engine-room. From the opening there emerged a bearded face, wearing the forced, embarrassed smile of one who is being shoved from behind and is trying to pretend that nothing is happening. Mr. Kuzenda was visible now from the waist up, carrying in both hands a large tin tray on which stood cups and tins of preserves; he smiled uncertainly as he rose higher and higher. His feet could soon be seen on a level with the deck, and still Mr. Kuzenda and his cups went on rising in the air. About eighteen inches above the opening he stopped and began groping with his feet. There he hung unsupported in the air, apparently doing his utmost to get his feet to the ground.

Mr. Hudec was like a man in a dream. “What is the matter, Mr. Kuzenda?” he exclaimed, almost in terror.

“Nothing, nothing,” Kuzenda replied evasively, still trying to draw himself down from the air with his feet; and Mr. Hudec was reminded of a picture of the Ascension that in his childhood had hung above his little cot, and how Our Lord and the Apostles in precisely the same manner were hanging in the air and paddling with their feet, but showing less amazement on their faces.

Suddenly Mr. Kuzenda moved forward and floated, floated over the deck through the evening air as though a gentle breeze might carry him away; now and again he raised his feet as if he wanted to step out firmly or something, and he was visibly concerned for his cups.

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10 of the best lines

Perhaps there is a God, but He’s on some other planet. Not on ours.

III: PantheismKeep reading from here

A little illusion is the only bond between mortals that never breaks.

X: Saint EllenKeep reading from here

But men need everything, everything but boundless plenty.

XIV: The Land of PlentyKeep reading from here

Let us abandon any attempt to psychologize great men, to express the titanic idea in the germ from which it sprang.

XXIV: The Napoleon of the Mountain BrigadeKeep reading from here

And since territorial keys have usually to be smeared with blood, France fitted out three armies which won for her tremendous glory.

XXIV: The Napoleon of the Mountain BrigadeKeep reading from here

Such is history, you see.

XXV: The So-Called Greatest WarKeep reading from here

The whole city was empty.

XXVI: The Battle of Hradec KrálovéKeep reading from here

Each one appropriates a little fringe or fragment of Him and then thinks he possesses the whole of Him.

XXVII: A Coral Island in the PacificKeep reading from here

“Oh, what’s the use?” said Grandfather Blahous.

XXVIII: At Seven CottagesKeep reading from here

And the earth shook with the clash of armies, and thinkers in every camp confidently asserted that “a brighter day was dawning.”

XXVIII: At Seven CottagesKeep reading from here

All 30 The Absolute at Large quotes, with the words around each

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Contents

All 30 parts
  1. I: The Advertisement
  2. II: The Karburator
  3. III: Pantheism
  4. IV: God in the Cellar
  5. V: Bishop Linda
  6. VI: The Board-Meeting
  7. VII: Developments
  8. VIII: The Dredge
  9. IX: The Ceremony
  10. X: Saint Ellen
  11. XI: The First Blow Struck
  12. XII: Doctor Blahous
  13. XIII: The Chronicler’s Apology
  14. XIV: The Land of Plenty
  15. XV: Disaster
  16. XVI: In the Mountains
  17. XVII: The Hammer and Star
  18. XVIII: In the Night Editor’s Room
  19. XIX: The Process of Canonization
  20. XX: St. Kilda
  21. XXI: The Telegram
  22. XXII: The Old Patriot
  23. XXIII: The Augsburg Imbroglio
  24. XXIV: The Napoleon of the Mountain Brigade
  25. XXV: The So-Called Greatest War
  26. XXVI: The Battle of Hradec Králové
  27. XXVII: A Coral Island in the Pacific
  28. XXVIII: At Seven Cottages
  29. XXIX: The Last Battle
  30. XXX: The End of Everything

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About this edition

Text from Standard Ebooks. Standard Ebooks dedicate their edition to the public domain (CC0 1.0). Every passage and line on this page is the book's own words, checked against the text.