Fanny’s First Play quotes

But when there’s a will there’s a way.

I hate to see dead people walking about: it is unnatural. And our respectable middle class people are all as dead as mutton.

Out of the mouth of Mrs. Knox I have delivered on them the judgment of her God.

Oh, I beg your pardon. I thought you were talking of the Byron. So you prefer living abroad?

I find England ugly and Philistine. Well, I don’t live in it.

I find modern houses ugly. I don’t live in them: I have a palace on the grand canal. I find modern clothes prosaic. I don’t wear them, except, of course, in the street. My ears are offended by the Cockney twang:

Yes, Mr. Trotter: I’ve seen a good deal of life since I came to England; and I assure you that to me you’re a mere baby: a dear, good, well-meaning, delightful, witty, charming baby; but still just a wee lamb in a world of wolves.

Cambridge is not what it was in my father’s time.

Just so. That’s one of our classifications in the Cambridge Fabian Society.

That’s not all. It goes on, “

The ice of life is slippery.

”

Cutting him short.

Leave it at that, please. Whatever it is, bad language won’t make it better.

Bitterly. Yes, put me in the wrong as usual. Take your boy’s part against me. He flings himself into the empty chair opposite her.

Bitterly. Yes, put me in the wrong as usual. Take your boy’s part against me. He flings himself into the empty chair opposite her.

When he does anything right, he’s your son. When he does anything wrong he’s mine.

Have you any news of him?

The West Circular Road. Is that a respectable address, Juggins?

A great many most respectable people live in the West Circular Road, madam; but the address is not a guarantee of respectability.

So it’s come to that with him, has it?

and she was pretending to be game for anything. You see you’ve brought Bobby up too strict; and when he gets loose there’s no holding him. He does enjoy life more than any lad I ever met.

Never you mind how he’s been brought up: that’s my business. Tell me how he’s been brought down: that’s yours.

Oh, don’t be rude to the lady, Rob.

Oh, that!

Why do they give a woman a fortnight for wearing a man’s hat, and a man a month for wearing hers?

I didn’t know that they did, madam.

My daughter in Holloway Gaol!

All the women in Holloway are somebody’s daughters.

Really, father, you must make up your mind to it.

Oh no. She sits down again at the table.

I’m a heroine of reality, if you can call me a heroine at all. And reality is pretty brutal, pretty filthy, when you come to grips with it. Yet it’s glorious all the same.

It’s so real and satisfactory.

What’s the use of that if they don’t choose to believe it? You don’t believe it yourself, or you wouldn’t pay policemen to twist their arms. What’s the good of pretending?

That’s all our respectability is, pretending, pretending, pretending.

Thank heaven I’ve had it knocked out of me once for all!

You shouldn’t have prayed for me to be enlightened if you didn’t want me to be enlightened.

If the truth were known, I suspect we all want our prayers to be answered only by halves: the agreeable halves.

Your prayer didn’t get answered by halves, mother. You’ve got more than you bargained for in the way of enlightenment. I shall never be the same again. I shall never speak in the old way again.

But, you know, I’m not really worthy of her.

Probably she never supposed you were, sir.

Oh, I say, Juggins, you are a pessimist.

Querulously. You haven’t been much use. He wanders disconsolately across the room. You generally put me up to the correct way of doing things.

I assure you, sir, there’s no correct way of jilting. It’s not correct in itself.

Hopefully. I’ll tell you what. I’ll say I can’t hold her to an engagement with a man who’s been in quod. That’ll do it. He seats himself on the table, relieved and confident.

I really can’t leave it at that, sir. I assure you I’ve no objection to young Mr. Gilbey’s going to prison.

You may do six months yourself, sir, and welcome, without a word of remonstrance from me.

I’m leaving solely because my brother, who has suffered a bereavement, and feels lonely, begs me to spend a few months with him until he gets over it.

It isn’t alone the curious things that are happening, but the unnatural way people are taking them. Why, there’s Margaret been in prison, and she hasn’t time to go to all the invitations she’s had from people that never asked her before.

I never knew we could live without being respectable.

Oh, Rob, what a thing to say! Who says we’re not respectable?

I do like spirits; and I make a merit of it, and I’m the King Cockatoo of the Convivial Cockatoos. Never put yourself in the wrong, he says. I used to boast about what a good boy Bobby was.

Now I swank about what a dog he is; and it pleases people just as well. What a world it is!

It turned my blood cold at first to hear Margaret telling people about Holloway; but it goes down better than her singing used to.

complaints and quarrels and huff and offence and bad language and bad temper and regular bewilderment as if Satan possessed us all. We find out then that with all our respectability and piety, we’ve no real religion and no way of telling right from wrong.

We’ve nothing but our habits; and when they’re upset, where are we?

Just like Peter in the storm trying to walk on the water and finding he couldn’t.

It’s quite simple, madam.

I’m a footman, and should be treated as a footman.

He proceeds calmly with his duties, handing round cups of tea as Mrs. Knox fills them.

You’d never guess. They’ve been trying to teach me table manners. The Lieutenant and Rudolph say I’m a regular pig. I’m sure I never knew there was anything wrong with me. But live and learn to Gilbey eh, old dear?

Old dear is not correct, Miss Delaney.

He retires to the end of the sideboard nearest the door.

But why did a gentleman like you stoop to be a footman?

He stooped to conquer.

Shut up, Dora: I want to hear.