Call Mr. Fortune quotes
The lines readers remember from Call Mr. Fortune, by H. C. Bailey.
32 quotes · About the book
Standout lines
Just enough is always too little.
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“You only do just enough,” Dr. Fortune complained. “Never brilliant. No zeal. Now, Reginald, it won’t do.
Just enough is always too little.
Take my word for it. And do be attentive to the Archduke. God bless you!”
There was nothing which he knew profoundly, but hardly anything of which he did not know enough to find his way about in it.
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It was remarked by his dean that he did things too easily. He always had plenty of time, and spent it here, there, and everywhere, on musical comedy and prehistoric man, golf and the newer chemistry, bargees and psychical research.
There was nothing which he knew profoundly, but hardly anything of which he did not know enough to find his way about in it.
Nobody, except his mother, had ever liked him too much, for he was a self-sufficient creature, but everybody liked him enough; he got on comfortably with everybody from barmaids to dons.
He was more at his ease with the world than a man has a right to be at thirty-five.
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He was of a round and cheerful countenance and a perpetual appetite. This gave him a solidity of aspect emphasized by his extreme neatness. Neither his hair nor anything else of his was ever ruffled.
He was more at his ease with the world than a man has a right to be at thirty-five.
It is presumed that he had never wanted anything which he had not got. Old Dr. Fortune possessed a small fortune and a rich practice, and Reggie enjoyed the proceeds and proposed to inherit both.
Often; but never one at a time.
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“
Often; but never one at a time.
” Reggie Fortune looked curiously at his host. The dinner had been good, the claret very good, the cigars were of the most benignant. But still—“Why this touch of sentiment, Lomas?” said he.
That is a sight which has moved strong men to tears, the pure ecstasy of joy, Lomas.
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“That wasn’t quite nice of you, you know. When you come to see me, you shouldn’t dine first. It makes me suspect your taste. Well, well! Come and see me eat.
That is a sight which has moved strong men to tears, the pure ecstasy of joy, Lomas.
The sublime and the beautiful, by R. Fortune. And Sam says Elise has a timbale de foie gras and her very own entrecôte. Dine again, Whittington. And we will look upon the wine when it is red. My Chambertin is strongly indicated.
What’s here is the sort of thing that makes a man a devil.
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This is damned cold, calculating crime. That kind of mad. Some fellow’s got an object that makes it worth while to him to do any beastliness. That’s the worst kind of mad, Bell. Not homicidal mania—that only makes a man a beast.
What’s here is the sort of thing that makes a man a devil.
”
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Case I: The Archduke’s Tea
Just enough is always too little.
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“You only do just enough,” Dr. Fortune complained. “Never brilliant. No zeal. Now, Reginald, it won’t do.
Just enough is always too little.
Take my word for it. And do be attentive to the Archduke. God bless you!”
Fretful game to spend your life waitin’ for a man to get ready.
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“Beautifully patient the mater is,” Reginald communed with himself as he ate his third muffin. “
Fretful game to spend your life waitin’ for a man to get ready.
Quaint old bird, the pater. Deathbed manner for a tummy-ache. Wonder the patients lap it up.”
There was nothing which he knew profoundly, but hardly anything of which he did not know enough to find his way about in it.
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It was remarked by his dean that he did things too easily. He always had plenty of time, and spent it here, there, and everywhere, on musical comedy and prehistoric man, golf and the newer chemistry, bargees and psychical research.
There was nothing which he knew profoundly, but hardly anything of which he did not know enough to find his way about in it.
Nobody, except his mother, had ever liked him too much, for he was a self-sufficient creature, but everybody liked him enough; he got on comfortably with everybody from barmaids to dons.
He was more at his ease with the world than a man has a right to be at thirty-five.
Show the passage
He was of a round and cheerful countenance and a perpetual appetite. This gave him a solidity of aspect emphasized by his extreme neatness. Neither his hair nor anything else of his was ever ruffled.
He was more at his ease with the world than a man has a right to be at thirty-five.
It is presumed that he had never wanted anything which he had not got. Old Dr. Fortune possessed a small fortune and a rich practice, and Reggie enjoyed the proceeds and proposed to inherit both.
History will affirm the simple truth that the Archduke and the Archduchess sought seclusion in England because they were bored to death by the Bohemian court, which was perpetually occupied in demonstrating that you can be very dull without being in the least respectable.
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… was a Serene Highness of the house of Erbach-Wittelsbach, which traces its descent to Odin, and had an independent realm of nearly two square miles, with parliament and army complete, and even the Emperor of Bohemia could not pretend that Maurice had married beneath him.
History will affirm the simple truth that the Archduke and the Archduchess sought seclusion in England because they were bored to death by the Bohemian court, which was perpetually occupied in demonstrating that you can be very dull without being in the least respectable.
The Archduke Maurice was a man of geniality and extraordinarily natural tastes. His garden—a long walk—a pint of beer in one of the old Westhampton inns made him a happy day.
Emotion plays queer tricks with faces.
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“There’s no reason we shouldn’t hope, madame,” Reggie said, and paused a moment watching them.
Emotion plays queer tricks with faces.
They were both in the grip of emotions.
He’ll be safer if they believe he is going to die,
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“
He’ll be safer if they believe he is going to die,
” said Sir Lawson.
Then he made an excellent supper and slept sound.
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“Oh, do you think so?” said Reggie, as the car shot away.
Then he made an excellent supper and slept sound.
He found his patient peaceful in the morning. No sign of consciousness yet, but more colour in the cheeks, a deeper breathing and a stronger pulse, more warmth. “The Archduchess has come twice in the night to ask about him, doctor,” the nurse said.
It’s quaint what the criminal don’t think of. I’m surprised every time.
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“
It’s quaint what the criminal don’t think of. I’m surprised every time.
Did you find anything here?”
Case II: The Sleeping Companion
Oh, I’m taking all sides. Ever try it?
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“
Oh, I’m taking all sides. Ever try it?
” Reggie said.
Care not, all will be known ere long.
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“The Inspector touches the spot.
Care not, all will be known ere long.
There’s a jolly little iris from the Himalayas—” Reggie returned with enthusiasm to horticulture.
Oh, that’s much harder,
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“
Oh, that’s much harder,
” said Reggie.
Case III: The Nice Girl
He liked ordinary things, and any day would have gladly bartered a murder for a case of chickenpox.
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Reginald Fortune, general practitioner at Westhampton, into Mr. Fortune of Wimpole Street, specialist in—what shall we say?—the surgery of crime. And Reggie Fortune, though richer for the change, was not grateful.
He liked ordinary things, and any day would have gladly bartered a murder for a case of chickenpox.
This accounts for his unequalled sanity of judgement.
Do you know one reason why many fellows get murdered? It’s because other fellows can’t live up to them.
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“Go away, Sam.” Reggie waved at him. “Go quite away, Sam.
Do you know one reason why many fellows get murdered? It’s because other fellows can’t live up to them.
”
I envy your stomach,
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“
I envy your stomach,
” Lomas explained, put up his eyeglass and surveyed the buttered toast more closely. “O Lord! And after a bad day too! You’ve heard the verdict. What? Wilful murder against Cranford.”
Never trust a really nice girl unless you’re marrying her.
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“Cranford, my congratulations,” said Reggie. “
Never trust a really nice girl unless you’re marrying her.
Perhaps you knew that.”
Case IV: The Efficient Assassin
The extraordinary efficiency of the assassin,
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Reggie stood up and gave himself a full glass of soda water. “
The extraordinary efficiency of the assassin,
” he said carefully. “Lomas, old dear, observe the extraordinary efficiency of the assassin. Mr. S. Charlecote comes out of his son’s house. A few yards from the door somebody kills him so quickly, so neatly, that he don’t make one sound.
Oh, my aunt, anybody can have an alibi,
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“
Oh, my aunt, anybody can have an alibi,
” Reggie grumbled.
Lomas, dear, my little jokes aren’t evidence.
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“
Lomas, dear, my little jokes aren’t evidence.
”
Case V: The Hottentot Venus
Often; but never one at a time.
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“
Often; but never one at a time.
” Reggie Fortune looked curiously at his host. The dinner had been good, the claret very good, the cigars were of the most benignant. But still—“Why this touch of sentiment, Lomas?” said he.
The trouble is, women aren’t human beings.
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“Some students say women have no minds,” Lomas murmured drowsily. “But that’s partiality.
The trouble is, women aren’t human beings.
Consider the parallel case of the dog. He is intelligent. But he sets different values on things from our values. Inhuman values. Think of bones, cats, boots. It is so also with women.”
Anything may have to do with anything.
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“Oh, please, please,” Reggie protested. “You see, you’re so lucid, Miss Lomas. These odd affairs are hardly ever lucid.
Anything may have to do with anything.
Just consider. You tell me that in your school there has been happening something unusual.”
Women are so revoltin’ nowadays,
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“
Women are so revoltin’ nowadays,
” Reggie murmured. “I wonder—you have no new woman in the flock? No bold, bad rebel?” The face of Miss Lomas answered him. “I thought so. We must have the second solution. Somebody wanted somebody’s photograph.”
Think of me as a mother,
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“
Think of me as a mother,
” said Reggie, and she went away in a rage.
Oh, I should, you know, I should,
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“
Oh, I should, you know, I should,
” Reggie murmured thoughtfully. They did not attend to him.
Phase I: The Scandal
Oh, Peter, don’t say things like that. I can’t bear it. Have the feelings of a man.
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“
Oh, Peter, don’t say things like that. I can’t bear it. Have the feelings of a man.
Be a brother, Lomas. I’ve been in nice, kind countries with a well-bred climate, and I come back to this epileptic blizzard, and here’s Lomas pale and perky waiting for me on the mat. And then you’re civil! Oh, Sophonisba! Sophonisba, oh!”
I hate seeing anything raw and alive. If you talk to me I shall cry.
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“I hate seeing you.
I hate seeing anything raw and alive. If you talk to me I shall cry.
My dear man, have you had dinner?”
That is a sight which has moved strong men to tears, the pure ecstasy of joy, Lomas.
Show the passage
“That wasn’t quite nice of you, you know. When you come to see me, you shouldn’t dine first. It makes me suspect your taste. Well, well! Come and see me eat.
That is a sight which has moved strong men to tears, the pure ecstasy of joy, Lomas.
The sublime and the beautiful, by R. Fortune. And Sam says Elise has a timbale de foie gras and her very own entrecôte. Dine again, Whittington. And we will look upon the wine when it is red. My Chambertin is strongly indicated.
Phase III: The Man Under the Snow
What’s here is the sort of thing that makes a man a devil.
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This is damned cold, calculating crime. That kind of mad. Some fellow’s got an object that makes it worth while to him to do any beastliness. That’s the worst kind of mad, Bell. Not homicidal mania—that only makes a man a beast.
What’s here is the sort of thing that makes a man a devil.
”
Anything you know is always trumps.
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“
Anything you know is always trumps.
”
There’s nobody so damned rational as the lunatic. That’s where he falls down.
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“My dear chap, you could catch ’em by the thousand.
There’s nobody so damned rational as the lunatic. That’s where he falls down.
Do not be discouraged. He’s logical. He don’t keep his eye on the facts. That is where we come in.”
Phase IV: The Charge
Crime unstained by any vulgar greed or sentiment; sheer crime; iniquity neat.
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When they talked about the case afterwards, Reggie and Lomas used to agree that it was a piece of pure art. “
Crime unstained by any vulgar greed or sentiment; sheer crime; iniquity neat.
An impressive thing, Lomas, old dear.”
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